I had two little extra companions on the beach today. And as delightful as they were I had to be more alert today than I have been for a very long while. So whilst those who know me know I wax lyrical about every age and stage and do not wish any of it away, today I was a little bit grateful my girls are not quite so young anymore. It means I get to drift off from time to time. Bliss. And how cool are the sand circles. I watched three young girls spend ages making them. I loved how everyone walked around them for the rest of the day. Well, everyone that is, except my two young companions.
Kate gave herself and me a big fright today. She had a fainting episode, or syncope, apparently. It was quite terrifying for her to experience. And me to witness. So today I am grateful for my daughter’s resilience in the face of a day of tests, for her growth, for our shared smiles as our eyes met in the various doctor’s rooms and for her pride at her ‘firsts’. I grateful for that little voice as I kissed her goodnight that stopped me at the door, saying, thank you mommy for driving me around today. Because whilst it was young and vulnerable, the choice of words weren’t. And the gratitude was sincere.
I had one of those life defining moments today. Actually more like stage defining. Kate left for Googa today, an outdoor education centre somewhere out there in Australia, for a month. No contact bar letters, no technology, no anything. They have to fend for themselves, washing, cooking, cleaning etc etc. I was so proud of her. She hadn’t cried once in the lead up. No sleepless nights, no anxiety. Only excitement. And then she saw Isaac her friend as we arrived at the bus. And the tears started. The tears that ordinarily would have flowed on looking at me or B. You know, moommmy. Daaddddy. That was the stage defining moment. In Kate’s life. And ours. The moment I turned to B and realised, as did he, we aren’t the ones anymore. I mean we always will be her parents and that will never ever change, we will always be there for her and she will always know that, but her friends get so much more of whats going on with her now than we do. She is growing and growing up and getting more and more ready to spread her wings and be independent of us. And I love her all the more for it. Because like everything else she does, she is doing it with grace and dignity. So much so that it took us both by gentle surprise.
I have mentioned B fondly refers to me as Cleese. I tend to be a tad of a dork and am often the butt of jokes in our family. In a nice way. Today I was grateful to play that role as it had the girls in absolute hysterics at lunch as Kate was updating Jem on my most recent attempt at joining in with B and Kate’s witty repartee. In my mind my comment was so funny I was already giggling, but somehow it didn’t sound the same outside of my mind. They could have at least been nice about it. Instead of rolling on the floor. Oh well. I am very grateful for a fun moment on Kate’s last day with us. I will be the butt of any joke if it helps to keep the mood light just before our baby leaves us for a month. I love how excited she is. I am grateful for her newfound fearlessness. Her readiness now to embrace a new adventure. To find the fun. Even if it is sometimes at my expense.
Kate loves skulls, its a fashion trend thing, lifesize candles, black skull candles a la Lara Bingle, necklaces, rings. I am grateful that she also still loves her fairies. Not a fashion trend thing, just a young girl thing.