three hundred and nineteen

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I am grateful for a king size bed with enough room for Big Boy, Bamboo, Toby the rat and Leith the Gorilla. Oh and Jem and I. But  I’m especially grateful for a twelve year old who still loves her soft toys and her mommy.

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warrior woman

I met a wonderful friend of a friend of mine yesterday. I can’t stop thinking about her. You see she is a warrior woman. A gentle tenacious bright funny warrior woman, who has a brain tumour and was given 14 months to live. She was told the doctors could do no more for her. So she pursued her own path. She is currently on 27 months and counting. She has been dealt many blows by life yet is positive, witty and real.  She is self effacing and humble. She is an inspiration and she is my fear. Was my fear. You see she also had breast cancer and a mastectomy and chemo and all the stuff they scare you into having to make sure you are here five years later.  She made her five years and had just decided against a big celebration of life party when they discovered her brain tumour, a secondary from her breast cancer. I have no doubt the irony did not escape her. That meaningless silly bloody goal of 5 years that we hold like a beacon of hope, living in limbo, counting the years, months, weeks and days, definitely even if not obviously, believing that on the stroke of midnight of our last day of being 5 years cancer free, we will finally be set free. Free from cancer. Free from fear. And whilst I booted fear a while back, meeting her made me face it for real. She gave me goosebumps and her matter of fact retelling of her tale reduced me to tears. But not for me, but for the wonderful inspiring human being I was graced to be in the company of. I would be proud to be her. I am honoured to have a daughter named Kate just like her. May she grow to be just like the warrior woman I met yesterday. Strong and present and true.

three hundred and seventeen

I am grateful for lovely plump lips. Especially because they are only temporary. Courtesy of the herpes simplex virus aka a cold sore aka a fever blister.Delightful. So, who said there wasn’t an upside to most things? I am grateful for the reminder in a myriad of ways today that your attitude is everything.

three hundred and sixteen

Jem’s feisty little Jayde died suddenly late today. She is completely and utterly heartbroken. They had such a tight connection, I feel her pain and felt so helpless in the face of her devastation today. I am grateful they had each other. It was a very precious bond not understood by everyone, but definitely by me. And by B. Who sent Jem a sweet letter to make her feel better with this pic of Jayde. She was an unique little creature. We will miss her. I will miss her.

three hundred and fifteen

25 November. I am grateful for a very patient family (and cheeky cousins), and here I mean my brother and sister and sister in law too. I have been a grump, taken on more than I can chew and spat it out all over all of them. And B too. I am grateful for them, not only for their patience with me, but especially for their understanding. And love.