Tag Archives: family

lost

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I sobbed this morning. Poor B, sitting in Sydney, could hardly hear the words between the gulps. And I have no real idea why. I’m feeling anxious. Not sleeping well. A little out of control and not in a good way. Very emotional. Very demotivated. And to be honest a little lost. I sat on my bench, regrouped a bit, got a little perspective and carried on. And that’s just life. Its not always a bed of roses, even when it is. I know how much I have, how much I’ve learnt and gained, and I am so filled with gratitude for everything and everyone in my life, but today I got lost in all I’ve lost. It frightened me how easy it is to do. But I had to write my grateful for yesterday. I had read about how a gratitude practice can open your heart and rewire your brain. It does. It really does.

two hundred and thirty eight

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B and I love GoMA. The space, the peaceful energy, the families immersing themselves in art and free thinking. I can almost feel the shift in the girls brains as they see an artists impression of something that is novel and unique, a new way of seeing something. As if they understand how accessible creativity is to everyone. I am grateful for the wonder, the inspiration and the appreciation in their eyes and for the moment today when Kate turned to us and said, this is so cool. Especially because she had really wanted to go to Princess Polly.

two hundred and thirty six

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7 September. I am grateful for a road trip to Brisvegas with the two best travel companions in the world. For loud music, teenage gossip, much laughter and the anticipation of seeing my sister and her girls. Not even the bad coffee at the halfway stop could ruin my day.

two hundred and thirty four

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Today I am grateful for more big smiles through bus windows and safe landings. Jem got back from her camp full of smiles, exhausted and happy to be home. I love having both my girls in their own beds. I’m a bit over whispering good night to empty rooms. At least now I won’t have to pretend I’m not.

two hundred and thirty one

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2 September.  B is a fabulous father. He encourages and enables. He loves Kate and Jem with every inch of his being. He believes so absolutely in them. He helps them to laugh at themselves. He helps them to be themselves. He teaches them to be kind, compassionate, patient, dedicated, genuine, authentic and fair. And funny. Because that’s who he is. I am grateful for the wonderful father the girls have, but I’m also just grateful for B. He does this for me too. Except for the funny bit. I’m just not.

two hundred and thirty

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1 September.  I am grateful that life has gone back to Cawood normal so quickly.  Kate and Jem had some loving sisterly chat which ended in Jem storming off to her room. After a while I went to check … and found her lying there having torn a toothpaste box into itty bitty little pieces and spelt out love with a heart, peace with a peace sign and happy with a smiley face. I’m not sure whether I was disturbed at the slight obsessive tendency emerging or grateful that clearly my bleating on about positive affirmations might have registered somewhere. I wish my sister was still at googa, I love, I choose peace, I am happy, this feels good, I love, I choose peace, I am happy, why am I in my room again, I love, I choose peace, I am happy, I know she loves me, I love, I choose peace, I am happy. Or something like that.

two hundred and twenty nine

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Today I am so very grateful for happy homecomings. For a brave daughter who has had a fabulous taste of the adventure that awaits her. And for the reminder of how precious and fleeting this time is. Right now life is back to as it should be. For our family of four. For now. And for that I am immensely grateful.

two hundred and twenty four

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26 August.  I am grateful for a wonderful family day spent with our child. How beautiful to be with her after three weeks away. Away from life as we all know it. How wonderful to see how much she has grown, how much she has learnt, how full of gratitude she is and how free she has become.

two hundred and twenty two

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I have been getting many we care about you but we are starting to wonder because you are obsessing a bit and maybe a little odd writing to your daughter every single day looks from my friends. Seriously, every day? Well, I am grateful today to be able to say nah nah nah nah nah. I am so grateful I have written most days (Jem and B did on the days I didn’t) because Kate feels loved. Feels acknowledged. Maybe I should write twice a day?