pathetic

I thought I had forgotten what it feels like to be a teenage girl. Today Arienne and I realised we hadn’t. After setting the world to rights, as we do, as we walk amongst the most spectacular scenery in the world, acknowledging it without pausing from our non-stop chatter, we went to Cafe le Monde as we do, for our workers coffee, saving a whopping 50c because we are locals, but damn how I love that. Not the saving, but the belonging. And the word, workers. The only difference was today, as we both went up to the counter to order, we looked up into the most beautiful blue eyes on the most beautiful mans face, and both forgot what we were doing there. Never mind that we are no doubt older than even his mother and are both extremely sensible women, we were completely and utterly tongue tied. Completely and utterly dumbstruck. I think both our hands pathetically went involuntarily up to our hair, as teenage girls do to preen. We finally managed to splutter out our order and once on the pavement, burst into peals of laughter, yes very very snorty laughter, not becoming of two mature nearly 46 and 48 year olds. Bloody pathetic. But what fun to be a teenage girl for one involuntary moment again.

bitch

I am embarassed to admit that’s what I muttered under my breath at Kate this morning. That’s because she was being one. I’ve decided it’s better to mutter. The truth is, the minute your children turn 13, they change. Never mind how perfect they are. They change. Some more subtly than others. The tough part is, you don’t. ┬áMy views are still the same. But now instead of illiciting fan mail and adoration from her, I get rolled eyes, back chat, walking away, you don’t get it, closed doors. I’ve raged, I’ve ranted, and not my finest hour, I’ve called her names. Aloud. But all I get is that look that makes me feel exactly like that idiotic person I am actually being. That holier than thou look that says she would never stoop so low. And she’s right. So, now, I turn away and mutter under my breath. All with love, of course. And because I do know, sadly, this too will pass.