Jem loves animals. I know Jem loves Jayde, her sweet little fancy rat, a lot. But I know Jem would prefer a little dog just like Badger. Jem and Kate have gained a lot in our move and our sort of limbo lifestyle currently, but have also sacrificed a lot. So today not only am I grateful for the moment I witnessed between Jem and Badger, but for the wonderful daughters we have. And for how much they teach us, every single day.
11 April. I am grateful for the sunset this evening. Not any sunset, but a sunset over the sea. I never realised how much I had missed it until now. Where we are now the sun rises over the sea. It never sets. I am also grateful for another homecoming. Being with Sandi and Pete in Kommetjie is just perfect. I never realised how much I had missed it until now.
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Today I am grateful for the unexpected pleasure of the most delicious cabernet from the year of Kate’s birth. An extended family and friends lunch at Graham and Sonja is always a gift. Not only for the always perfect fillet, the laughter and sharing, but for the belonging. And the knowledge that the world really is very small. But most especially for that never depleted cellar filled with the most exquisite wines.
Never mind whether they’re 6 or 60, it’s always about the penis. I so wish I could claim this comment, but it belongs to Lynn, my other sister. This in response to Kate updating my family on the saga of her teenage love life. Or to set the record straight, the fact that she didn’t want one. And us all trying to explain why boys behave the way they do. Why men do. Lynn’s bloody right. But what I loved about the comment was less the truth but the fact that it was shared at breakfast with ages ranging from 7 to 74. We truly do all have a relationship of honesty, raw honesty. I know this will shock some but the ensuing hilarity was just utterly fabulous. Especially at my mom using the opportunity to educate her granddaughters even further. I know this may be unusual, even a tad controversial, but nothing has ever been taboo in our family, the table is always a safe place to talk about anything. Open and honest, with clear appropriate explanations and clear consistent boundaries. And a lot of laughs. For me it demonstrates one of my core beliefs … it’s not what you say, but what you do that counts. Don’t be scared to use words, to speak your mind, to share what you’ve heard, to speak in front of your children, to teach them in an open honest appropriate way, to encourage them to share, to learn from others. As long as the words are used with respect, and not to denigrate. To share truth. And really, what could be truer?
Today we celebrated my mom’s birthday early, so we could be together. With breakfast out. As our family does. I am grateful for the tradition of breakfast at Moyo for Lesley’s birthday. I love my mom and am proud that she is still so exquisitely beautiful at 72. She is the perfect example to me of inner beauty shining out. My mom is irreverent, fun, kind, honest, true, non judgemental and accepting of all and everything. She has an inner strength that sometimes I think not even she is aware of. She is the one who taught me to just do what you have to do. She does all she does, irreverent or not, naughty or not, with utmost grace and dignity. I am grateful to have been blessed with Lesley as my mom. Just as my girls are blessed to have her as a granny. I am grateful they have the perfect example of the kind of woman I hope they both grow up to be.
I am grateful for the relationship my dad and Kate enjoy. And my dad and Jem. In fact, the relationship he enjoys with all six of his granddaughters. As blessed as they are, so is he. And are we all.
2 April. Today I am grateful for Serapa. Not only because it is the most wonderful gift my uncle has given us all, access to this wonderful place of his, but because it is part of us all. It is our history. Serapa and the yellow landy have meant so much to my brother, sister and I and continues to. From before our partners and before our children. Being here has helped us through career upheavals, pregnancies, illness, life. Being here has welcomed engagements, new family members, new life. And has cemented all our relationships over lots of red wine, stunning game drives, treacherous mountain bike rides, peaceful bush walks and braais made to perfection. I am very very grateful to be here right now, because right now it is the place here I have the most history with.
Today we spent a gentle morning with my dad’s sisters and their husbands. I know times have been very tough for them all and was so very grateful to see them all well and settled in their new homes. I was especially grateful to witness the love and concern they have for my dad. And he for them. No matter the years past, the different lives spent, the different journeys travelled, family is family. And for that I am grateful. I am especially grateful for the the reminder from the stray cat who made us all smile as he enjoyed the sun and the garden today. The reminder that there is always something to smile about. Always.
Lynn and I can chat and chat and chat. And chat. Over numerous glasses of wine and numerous cups of coffee. We can laugh, we can cry, we can advise, we can tease, we can lecture, we can listen. Nothing ever gets in the way, not even jet lag or a stiff neck or much needed sleep. I am very blessed and extremely grateful to have a sister-in-law who is always there, who truly gets me, who is so much like me, who cares enough to disagree with me, who cares enough to know what is needed, who is a friend but so much more. Today and always, I am grateful for Lynn, my other sister.
Today I am overflowing with gratitude. I am so grateful for my family, for every single one of them, those here and those not, for every little moment today and last night, for the roses, for the chocolates, for the steers ribs, for the laughs, for the hugs, for the fruit chutney niknaks, for the non stop chatter, for the coffee, for the rusks, for the care, for the time, for the ‘anything can be said at this table’ dinner conversation, for the love we all share. Just for being here.
grace and dignity 