chuckle

I had a chuckle at myself today. It took all I had in me not to “client service” a meditation/discussion I went to. What is it with me and the need to make everyone at ease. There was an uncomfortable pause begging to be filled (by me) as we milled around waiting to be seated. And once seated. And thats when I chuckled. When I realised I didn’t have to. I didn’t need to make anyone feel anything. Why me. Old habits die hard. So we all sat there in uncomfortable silence until the buddhist nun gently led the discussion. It was uncomfortable, it wasn’t just me needing to fill silence. But I guess thats the point. Uncomfortable is ok. I am slowly getting that it is not up to me to try and make things better. My idea of better. I cannot control anything but my own response. I love that today it was a chuckle.