5 January. I am grateful for a shared smile, a naughty twinkle, late night eyes and a forever love.
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4 January. I am grateful for my oncologist. And that in my desire to find the best care I came full circle to the man who scared me off at first. I am grateful for his honesty, his integrity, his purpose and his lovely sense of humour. I am reminded today as I sit in front of him of the laughter he brought in to the chemo ward, despite the hush that was always present. I loved that. He made me laugh. He brought hope.
a very important day
I missed it. 3 January was my 5 years. I am officially 5 years cancer free. I was officially cancer free for 5 years, 2 days ago. The day I have held as my goal without really meaning to, yet yes counting and being subtly aware of. And I missed it. It was a damn important day for me, a day I wanted to mark and rejoice and give thanks and smile and be still and light a lantern and gently weep, looking up into B’s eyes with wonder and love at all we have achieved. Ohmigod, I think I’m going to vomit. And am seriously considering romance novels as my next outlet. But, how simply fabulous that I missed it. I love that. Even though I made B squirm cos he missed it too. I haven’t told him I had too. Well, I have now. Seriously though. Life is great, life is every day, every little thing every day is as important as everything else, nothing is more important, it’s just the importance we attach to things that makes them so. I am here, I am loved and I love. With all my heart and I am thankful and grateful for every day. And not especially for 3 January. I have grown, I am brave and I look forward to every day with courage and excitement and gratitude. As must we all.
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3 January. Ek wil met haar speel. I love the innocence of little children at play and am grateful that Jem loves it too. It was delightful to watch these two birthday buds playing. A connection is a connection never mind time, age or language.
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2 January. I am grateful for casual goodbyes. As casual as I’ll see you tomorrow when tomorrow is next year. For a shared history and for easy laughter.
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1 January. I am grateful for a new year. Not because 2012 was not a year to celebrate, it was, for all the lessons learnt, challenges faced, decisions made, love shared and life lived. I am grateful for every moment. But I am looking forward to moving forward. To being less in limbo, to truly living what is, to making a real home for the girls and to even more love and laughter. Life is good.
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31 December. Kate loves her new doc martens. I am grateful we schlepped them all the way from Oz. And that I love her style. But damn I wish they were mine.
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30 December. I am grateful for a trip down memory lane and for worlds colliding, a Melissa’s in Parkhurst. Perfection. I loved living in Parkhurst. But I still don’t get why they painted our crisp white wall dog poo brown. Not that I care. But seriously, what were they thinking. I guess there is no going back.
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29 December. The gratitude I feel towards my parents knows no bounds. I am grateful I grew up with them as an example of how to be and sometimes how not to be. Today we celebrate 50 wonderful years of a true partnership, an authentic one, where ups and downs were shared. Where life was celebrated and conflicts were aired and resolved. With passion. And in fact still are. I am grateful for the lessons learnt. That life is messy, and messy is good because messy is real, and messy teaches you to appreciate the rosy. That honesty is what matters, and that love truly does conquer all. I am grateful for the example set but mostly I am grateful to my parents for our family, my brother and sister and our partners and our children and especially the bond that exists between us all. We are because they are.
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28 December. I am grateful for my mother’s smile. For her beauty, her grace and her presence.
grace and dignity 