you asked again

I was recently asked if I was happy with my breasts. So, here’s the thing, my left breast was removed completely, nipple and areola too, and I had an autologous reconstruction¬†, which is using my own flesh, via a latissimus dorsi flap, so part of my lat muscle and back skin was removed and whilst still attached moulded into a breast mound. They had to use my own flesh for various reasons but mostly because I had previously had radiation and a prosthesis does not very successfully adhere to radiated flesh. Because my cancer was close to the skin they took that too, so I also have some back skin on my breast. That was stage one. Stage two was to add a prosthesis as my new boob once healed was hardly a boob compared to my other one. Stage three was to add a nipple. Apparently the best flesh to use for a nipple is your vulva. Same silky feel. How fucking hilarious. No bloody way. Bad enough I have to lose my breast and my nipple which was very important to me as a woman, nudge nudge, but no fucking way were they going to fiddle with that part too. I like that part of me just as it is. I mean really, could you imagine knowingly walking around with your fanny on your boob? So instead they used the skin around my caesar scar, dipped it in tattoo dye to approximate my nipple and areola colour and shaped it to form a nipple. ¬†Actually for those of you who haven’t seen it it is quite amazing. I just feel absolutely nothing. In fact sometimes I’ll walk too close to a wall and wonder whats blocking me, and realise its my own boob. Oh and I know some women, in fact most women have hair that grows on the areola. Well, every now and agin I spot a hair, but it looks a tad short and curly to me. Giggle. Oh and I have another party trick … if I flex my lat, my boob responds. Finally my right boob has been surgically altered to match the left. A prosthesis added and the nipple moved in alignment. So, they look sort of similar bar the scars and those other little details already mentioned, they’re bigger than I’m used to, and one is completely numb, but I just love them. So, yes, I am happy with my breasts. Very happy.