grey

I did beat myself up at 3 am this morning when the alcohol I imbibed woke me up. Pathetic. Embarrassing. Well, that’s that, because after all I’m an all or nothing kind of girl. So at 3 am this morning I gave myself permission to accept my failings and no longer do this silly alcohol fast for the month of feb. But at 7.30 am when I finally gave up wrestling with my interrupted sleep patterns, I realised I always prided myself on being grey, but was horrified to realise I’m actually black and white. There are simply too many absolutes in my world. Like the fact that you only get one chance with me. There is an invisible line that only I know and once that’s crossed, that’s it. So, instead today I gave myself permission to forgive. Me for my silly glass or two or three of wine and you for letting me down. And so it continues. One gracious step at a time.