Never mind whether they’re 6 or 60, it’s always about the penis. I so wish I could claim this comment, but it belongs to Lynn, my other sister. This in response to Kate updating my family on the saga of her teenage love life. Or to set the record straight, the fact that she didn’t want one. And us all trying to explain why boys behave the way they do. Why men do. Lynn’s bloody right. But what I loved about the comment was less the truth but the fact that it was shared at breakfast with ages ranging from 7 to 74. We truly do all have a relationship of honesty, raw honesty. I know this will shock some but the ensuing hilarity was just utterly fabulous. Especially at my mom using the opportunity to educate her granddaughters even further. I know this may be unusual, even a tad controversial, but nothing has ever been taboo in our family, the table is always a safe place to talk about anything. Open and honest, with clear appropriate explanations and clear consistent boundaries. And a lot of laughs. For me it demonstrates one of my core beliefs … it’s not what you say, but what you do that counts. Don’t be scared to use words, to speak your mind, to share what you’ve heard, to speak in front of your children, to teach them in an open honest appropriate way, to encourage them to share, to learn from others. As long as the words are used with respect, and not to denigrate. To share truth. And really, what could be truer?
eighty four
Today we celebrated my mom’s birthday early, so we could be together. With breakfast out. As our family does. I am grateful for the tradition of breakfast at Moyo for Lesley’s birthday. I love my mom and am proud that she is still so exquisitely beautiful at 72. She is the perfect example to me of inner beauty shining out. My mom is irreverent, fun, kind, honest, true, non judgemental and accepting of all and everything. She has an inner strength that sometimes I think not even she is aware of. She is the one who taught me to just do what you have to do. She does all she does, irreverent or not, naughty or not, with utmost grace and dignity. I am grateful to have been blessed with Lesley as my mom. Just as my girls are blessed to have her as a granny. I am grateful they have the perfect example of the kind of woman I hope they both grow up to be.
eighty three
I loved being in Braamfontein today. On the outer skirts (for you Lynn) of Jo’burg inner city. It was where I spent my varsity days and it was wonderful to see the area reenergised and rejuvenated. I am grateful I got to see it as it is today. The coffee shops, the galleries, the design studios. The trendy foody vintagey neighbourgoods market is a must visit for all visitors here. And those who live here. My only promise to myself is next time I’ll also be swapping my flat white for a margarita. At 10 am.
sense
We went to a wonderful fresh food, trendy, vintage clothing market cum foody space in Braamfontein today. Wonderful to be there, to see it and to feel the air of acceptance, living togetherness and simply getting on with it air I have felt this visit. But what really made me pause was when a complete stranger asked us what we thought of the skirt she was trying on as her mom hated it, and when another stranger told Kate how gorgeous she looked in the top she was trying on and continued to chat to her about her life for a good five minutes. Kate afterwards said how lovely she was, but wasn’t that a bit odd. That lady chatting to her like that. To me it wasn’t. But to Kate it was, because she isn’t used to it anymore. The funny thing is it’s not odd here. South African women are open and we generally do share, a lot and to anyone. Suddenly it all made a bit more sense, my being ok with my sharing. Because it’s what I’m used to. And why some of my friends find it odd. Because it’s not what they’re used to. Then again, maybe I do overdo it a bit. Just a teeny little bit.
eighty two
eighty one
eighty
4 April. I woke to a glorious sunrise, coffee on the patio overlooking the vlaktes, with only the turtle doves for company. I knew it was going to be a good day. This afternoon I got my all over body PET scan results. My final results. I was told I am well, very very well. I loved and am grateful for the look of joy on my oncologist’s face. Roll on 5 years.
seventy nine
3 April. Today was a beautiful day. I am grateful for too many wonderful moments, from sleepy eyed tousle haired cousins at 6am, to a giraffe with eyelashes I envy, to Rick teaching Kate at 14 to drive the landy, to nearly not being able to have wine on our sunset game drive, to an off road adventure to rocky outcroppings with the most spectacular views, to Lynn and and I beyond ourselves at Rick showing his age. To all of us being together. A truly golden day.
seventy eight
2 April. Today I am grateful for Serapa. Not only because it is the most wonderful gift my uncle has given us all, access to this wonderful place of his, but because it is part of us all. It is our history. Serapa and the yellow landy have meant so much to my brother, sister and I and continues to. From before our partners and before our children. Being here has helped us through career upheavals, pregnancies, illness, life. Being here has welcomed engagements, new family members, new life. And has cemented all our relationships over lots of red wine, stunning game drives, treacherous mountain bike rides, peaceful bush walks and braais made to perfection. I am very very grateful to be here right now, because right now it is the place here I have the most history with.
seventy seven
Today we spent a gentle morning with my dad’s sisters and their husbands. I know times have been very tough for them all and was so very grateful to see them all well and settled in their new homes. I was especially grateful to witness the love and concern they have for my dad. And he for them. No matter the years past, the different lives spent, the different journeys travelled, family is family. And for that I am grateful. I am especially grateful for the the reminder from the stray cat who made us all smile as he enjoyed the sun and the garden today. The reminder that there is always something to smile about. Always.










