period

So I went and saw my oncologist last week for another lets see how things are going visit. I’m liking her a tad less every visit. It’s that emotionally unavailable bit. And I get it. But I just need her to see me. Me. Not a cancer patient. Anyhooo I am trundling along, my bloodwork was good, my fatigue is lessening, I’m starting to make peace with and accept the side effects of the Aromasin. It just becomes your new normal. I have changed my mood stabilising meds, see what I did there, and psychobitch seems to be making fewer appearances, although my family might disagree.  I am delaying decisions re future treatment until next year.  2016 has done enough. I am finally getting at fifty that life is a series of commas. There are no full stops. And especially with cancer. It is not over. It never was over. I will never be able to say with certainty I am cancer free. So what am I you ask?  I am officially in remission, which is defined as ‘a temporary diminution of the severity of disease or pain’. Yay me. No seriously. It’s as good as it gets. There is no evidence of disease. For now. I am feeling more like me than I have in a very long time, psychobitch and my inabilty to remember anything vaguely important aside. But there is the reality of the ‘for now’. And all that does is remind me, and you I fucking hope, that it is all bloody temporary, the good and the bad. It will all pass. So celebrate every little good and seek it out, see it, and deal with the bad with as much grace and dignity as you can muster, because it is just a comma. Not a period. Period.

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5 thoughts on “period

  1. From facebook

    Adrienne Hoberman 💜💜
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · November 18, 2016 at 6:43am
    Lianne Cawood ❤
    Like · Reply · November 21, 2016 at 5:27am

    Siobhan Goodwin You are so clever with words! 💖
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · November 18, 2016 at 6:44am
    Lianne Cawood Shucks you. Not really but thanks 😘
    Like · Reply · November 21, 2016 at 5:28am

    Susie Pitts Moving forward. This is the good news start to our day. Xx
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · November 18, 2016 at 6:47am
    Lianne Cawood And what a day it was ❤
    Like · Reply · November 21, 2016 at 5:28am

    Lynn Loopuyt Barker ♡. Period
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · November 18, 2016 at 6:48am
    Lianne Cawood ♡ period
    Like · Reply · 1 · November 21, 2016 at 5:29am

    Nadja O’Keeffe Okay – (Y) – I just need to send you a ‘high five’ – You have such strength and determination and it’s because of this that you are a winner! We all live day to day – I think it’s an instinctive thing in us all! Just some are made more aware of it than others! So today I raise my glass of bubbles and say to you – GIRL YOU ROCK! (Y) Sending Love and hugs to that gorgeous psychobitch ( 😉 ) in Noosa – PERIOD! ❤ #FuckCancer #SoMuchLoveForYou #YouRock ❤ xxxxxx
    Unlike · Reply · 2 · November 18, 2016 at 6:52am
    Lianne Cawood You rock Nads. Actually we all rock! ❤❤
    Like · Reply · 1 · November 21, 2016 at 5:30am
    Nadja O'Keeffe Lianne Cawood Abso-BLOODY-lutely 😉 Love ya ❤ ❤ (Y) (Y)
    Like · Reply · November 21, 2016 at 9:12am

    Megan Clausen You are awesome. Full stop. ❤❤❤❤❤
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · November 18, 2016 at 7:15am
    Lianne Cawood Flawsome maybe? Love ya Megs. Full stop. ❤❤❤
    Like · Reply · November 21, 2016 at 5:30am

    Leigh Thomas ❣
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · November 18, 2016 at 7:17am
    Lianne Cawood ♡
    Like · Reply · November 21, 2016 at 5:31am

    Karin Dunkin It might be a comma but it's a good one. Good news and a little relief for my heart and yours. Love you!
    Unlike · Reply · 3 · November 18, 2016 at 7:49am
    Lianne Cawood Love you Karin Amanda. Period ♡
    Like · Reply · 1 · November 21, 2016 at 5:31am

    Claire Peters I love that word "remission" 😘😘
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · November 18, 2016 at 9:23am
    Lianne Cawood Tbh Clairabelle I'm learning to. Love to you 😘
    Like · Reply · November 21, 2016 at 5:33am

    Kerry Solomon As you words often do, I'm brought to tears. Thank you for reminding us how transient and temporary everything is. Yes to seeking out the good! Yes to maximising and celebrating the positive! Yes to you being in remission! Long may it last beautiful Lianne. And maybe your oncologist doesn't see you, but we all do. And we salute you. And we admire you. And we adore you. xxxx
    Unlike · Reply · 3 · November 18, 2016 at 11:52am
    Lianne Cawood And I you K. ❤
    Like · Reply · 1 · November 21, 2016 at 5:33am

    Gillian Freimond Rightford Happy news. And good advice. 🍾🍾💕
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · November 18, 2016 at 2:17pm
    Lianne Cawood ❤
    Like · Reply · November 21, 2016 at 5:33am

    Owen Leed Love, love, love,
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · November 18, 2016 at 2:20pm
    Lianne Cawood Love back, (I saw what you did there 😉),
    Like · Reply · 1 · November 21, 2016 at 5:34am
    Owen Leed Lianne Cawood 😘😘
    Like · Reply · November 21, 2016 at 8:44am

    Karen Saville Smiley face smiley face kiss kiss
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · November 18, 2016 at 3:41pm
    Lianne Cawood 😘😘
    Like · Reply · November 21, 2016 at 5:34am

    Heather Tristan · 6 mutual friends
    Remission is good!
    Psychobitch sometimes is too 😀
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · November 18, 2016 at 4:08pm
    Lianne Cawood I hear ya!!!!
    Like · Reply · November 21, 2016 at 5:34am

    Theresa Milne It's all good…. No need to be hung up on a destination. It's a series of twisted turns and hills and dips. Sounds like you're refuelled and ready. Now grab some snacks, turn the music up loud and make it a holiday to remember. Lots of love x
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · November 18, 2016 at 4:43pm
    Lianne Cawood Love to you T. The engines are revving. ❤
    Like · Reply · 1 · November 21, 2016 at 5:34am

    Gillian Smith Love you brave lady.💜💜
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · November 18, 2016 at 6:47pm
    Lianne Cawood Love you back Gilly. ❤
    Like · Reply · November 21, 2016 at 5:35am

    Janine Daniels Look its our old friend 'impermanence' again. Such a bugger of a lesson. Love you angel ❤❤
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · November 19, 2016 at 7:34am
    Lianne Cawood Shit man, what's it gonna take for us to learn??? Love you long time my friend ❤❤❤
    Like · Reply · November 21, 2016 at 5:35am
    Janine Daniels And I you my friend. Lots ! 😘😘
    Like · Reply · November 21, 2016 at 9:26pm

    Jane Sims Lianne, I love how you write. I know that it is your journey, but, just so you know, I have a friend who was given a 20% chance of surviving a rampant breast cancer, 18 years ago…… When I met her, I remember her saying how the treatment sucked and that if she had known how shit it was she would not have started it, but, here she is today. Just saying. I know that you are probably rolling your eyes thinking I have heard all this before, but you have done fucking well. It is okay to be an uber-super-fucking-psycho-bitch sometimes, because on the other side of the pendulim that swings in all of us you are the uber-super-fabulous-wonderful-special-person too. Xxxx
    Unlike · Reply · 3 · November 19, 2016 at 2:56pm
    Lianne Cawood I'm so not rolling my eyes, rather wiping them at this beautiful acknowledgment of me and of all of us. Thank you Jane and much much love to you ❤
    Like · Reply · November 21, 2016 at 5:36am

    Geraldine Hartley So life is frail and it is fleeting, during this earthly existence anyway! BUT it is not an emergency that needs to be lived at the pace of such – this time of year I find is the worst for emergency speed (yuck!) I just wanted to say thank you for good news today, for celebrating good news and for reminding us all to live our stories in commas I believe you are spot on, the good, the bad, the ugly…it shall all pass. In the meantime today can I say I'm grateful for you and your words of wisdom, of truth and transparency. Period.
    Unlike · Reply · 5 · November 19, 2016 at 5:06pm
    Lianne Cawood This too shall pass. Such beautiful words G. Love and gratitude to you. Period ❤❤
    Like · Reply · November 21, 2016 at 5:38am · Edited

    Colin Templeton Love to you and your family 💕💕💕
    Like · Reply · November 21, 2016 at 5:42am

    Melinda Kerr 💕💕💜
    Like · Reply · November 21, 2016 at 6:32am

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