So by now some of you may have seen the video B posted of me. It was not a good day but I guess that’s the point. They aren’t good days. They’re the best we can make them days. So whilst I’m so grateful for all the beautiful comments about how wonderful I look, how well I look, they worry me. I don’t want to in anyway trivialise the awfulness, the fear, the yuckiness, the desperateness, the late night bathroom floor moments, the self pitying, the pain, the soreness. It’s hard to share those moments, but it’s easy to share the smiles. It’s not always easy to smile mind you and I think you all see it for what it is, but I just need to make sure you do. A choice. A touch of lipstick, a creamy foundation, some mascara on my fast departing lashes, is my armour to fight the day. I share because I want to give strength to those who are struggling, to show how sometimes a smile, tough though it may be to smile, helps lift the spirit and does give you energy to move forward.  That chemo whilst it makes you feel shit, is not something to fear.  If even just one person who chose not to do chemo because of fear, fear of being bald, fear of the debilitating side effects, fear driven by others fear, fear driven by others self serving ideologies or conspiracy theories or self healing crap and then leaves it too late sees me and feels hopeful, then fuck it’s been worth it.  Healthy living, healthy eating, exercising, reducing stress, being mindful, making the right choices, keeping your system alkaline, living a moderate healthy life are all fucking givens for living. I did it all. I lived it. Yet I got cancer. So, what? Am I a bad person? Do I have many lessons to learn?  Fuck yes, we all do. But the one I have learnt is do not fear.  It’s what kills you.

5 thoughts on “lipstick

  1. Fear cannot have a life if we don’t feed it with our own valuable energy! Sometimes it’s easier said than done! 😆 I remember after a friend of mine lost Both her young boys on separate occasions, we were discussing the meaning of life and her response to me was – “Nads – shit just happens!” – It’s not because we did anything wrong or we deserve shit – Life deals the deck of cards and sometimes it’s a good hand and other times it just gives us KUK! 😳😝 I guess what gets us through the hard times is the unwavering love and support of family and friends!☀️💕 Through the good, the bad and the ugly know that you are completely loved by everybody that knows you, and if you feel that a good dose of “wake the FUCK UP” is needed – then we just need to suck it up and deal with it. You are a phenomenal teacher and we can all do ourselves a massive favour and FUCKING LISTEN! You are one of the most beautiful souls I know (inside and out 🌺) – Thank you for your honesty and being totally true! Counting the days when you no longer have to feel shit and sending you all my love and Angel healing! 💕😘👼🏼

  2. Hi Lianne – few years ago I was diagnosed with a melanoma – I had watched it grow for 8yrs before I had the courage to see the dermatologist. Waiting for the results of whether it was still insitu (highly unlikely I was warned given how long I had it), I decided I would not fight the cancer, I would not do the chemo thing, I would cash in my chips and do a worldwide farewell trip for as long as I had time. I was very lucky, it was just still insitu. I have been warned I will get more – following your story and your courage has made me rethink that farewell tour. It sucks, it’s hell, but it can be handled – you’re demonstrating that to me, so yes, your message reached someone. Thank you.

  3. From facebook
    Leona Breitenbach, Deborah MacCourt Roberts and 28 others

    Lynn Loopuyt Barker 💋❤️
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · May 30 at 7:24am

    Kerry Solomon Beautiful, honest writing Lianne. Keep on wearing your lipstick, and your smile. Except when you don’t want to. xxxx
    Unlike · Reply · 4 · May 30 at 12:24pm

    Mildred Spinoza Keep strong honey. Every day that goes by is a day less you have to take that horrible stuff. Xxx
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · May 30 at 12:54pm

    Lianne Cawood Love that Kerry Solomon. Except when I don’t want to. Perfect💋
    Like · Reply · 2 · May 30 at 5:23pm · Edited

    Charmaine Devitt 💛
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · May 30 at 6:59pm

    Lara Good Wow. You must become a motivational speaker, a blogger, a writer. Beautifully written and so inspiring. Thank you xxx
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · May 30 at 7:02pm
    Kath Anderson Brilliant – as always your words knock the stuffing out of me.
    Unlike · Reply · 4 · May 30 at 9:02pm
    Lianne Cawood ❤️
    Like · Reply · June 1 at 7:38pm

    Christal Ann Schneider ❤💕😙😙
    Like · Reply · June 2 at 2:03am

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