bored

I have to admit I’m a little bored. I’m supposed to be packing and I’m sitting here researching the side effects of docetaxel and cyclophosphamide. It’s not what I’m reading that’s boring it’s actually quite interesting. Fascinating even. But nauseating.  Truly nauseating for those in the know. It’s the fact that I am reading it that bores me. And that all I think and talk about right now is this insiduous, (I like that word C), fucker. I am bored at being here again. I am bored that my family are here again.  Seriously if I need to be the poster child (I uses the term lightly) for anything, did it have to be this? And I don’t mean to be ungrateful, I really do get the goodness that can come from crap. And that crap happens. And what sets us apart is how we handle the crap. And that my determination to be positive (hate that word sometimes, because really what chioce do we have) and my strength to do what I must could help others. And I am so grateful for that.  But I’m bored. And yes, probably mildly depressed.

I met my oncologist. She is brilliant by reputation. And I found her delightfully as insightful as she was brilliant. My brilliant insightful oncologist has unfortunately not ruled out chemotherapy. She is mindful of not overtreating nor undertreating me. So I am to be discussed and reviewed further. Love all these brilliant minds being a tad baffled by me. I think. Final decision to be made next Thursday. If you believe that you’ll believe anything. Anyway I’m not scared. It’s awful but I will do whatever I need to. And anyway I need a haircut.

One thought on “bored

  1. From facebook
    Kay Mcglashan, Meredith Wostenholm and 36 others

    Samantha Yates Schroeder Ps: now get ready & let’s be bored in Sydney 😈
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · April 14 at 10:34am
    Lianne Cawood Can think of worse placs to play Lets Pretend!! see you soooon. xx
    Like · Reply · 1 · April 14 at 10:37am

    Heather McNeice Hoping you won’t need chemo Lianne. Have a fabulous time in Sydney – I’m sure a few days away from all things medical is just what you need xx
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · April 14 at 10:43am
    Lianne Cawood It is H. It just is. 😘
    Like · Reply · 1 · April 16 at 9:26am
    Heather McNeice So lovely to see you smiling xxx
    Like · Reply · April 16 at 9:29am

    Susie Pitts Beautiful time to be in Sydney, you won’t be bored there for a second. I hope you don’t have to have chemo as well, but if you do “it is what it is” and your have the attitude to get through and the friends to be there when you need us.
    Unlike · Reply · 3 · April 14 at 10:58am
    Lianne Cawood Do love your city Susie. And thank you 😘
    Like · Reply · April 16 at 9:27am

    Kim Logan Hoping the best for you xxxx
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · April 14 at 12:31pm

    Theresa Milne First step is to get your head around it, but ultimately it’s best to Go with your heart xx
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · April 14 at 1:09pm

    Deborah MacCourt Roberts Love love love love love all for you 💐
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · April 14 at 2:28pm

    Janette Webb Sending sooooooooo much lot of love to you xxx
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · April 14 at 2:31pm

    Susie Olopai Are you seeing Sybil Lianne? She is wonderful with her patients.
    Like · Reply · April 14 at 3:12pm
    Lianne Cawood Hey Susie. Nope. My oncologist is in Brisbane. X
    Like · Reply · April 16 at 9:28am

    Louise Fletcher Have fun in Sydney 😄 x p.s haircut photos?
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · April 14 at 5:21pm
    Susie Pitts My guess is that haircut will be inperceptible 3cms x
    Like · Reply · April 14 at 6:58pm
    Lianne Cawood Hahaha please please only 3cms. Was being a little dark and perhaps a tad too subtle about maybe having to lose my hair. Love you both 😘
    Like · Reply · April 16 at 9:30am

    Shea Albert Its the mustering of the energy, the positive view of the situation, the fucking going over you’re getting and the fucking freedom to choose your response And chemo…Jessie shaved all her hair off, and once she gave herself a Mohican haircut. And once she was with Rob on holiday, wearing a kikoi, when she overheard someone ‘What a brave little lad.” Rob turned 50 on Tuesday. I told him he’s gown into a lovely lad. Oh yes, I have decorated my study with all my favourite cards. One from O&M – Don’t Stay in Touch. Another called Freud the Barber. There he is giving a guy a haircut, The words in the balloon: So, how’s your mother? . I love you Lianne..
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · April 14 at 7:02pm
    Lianne Cawood Shea!!! I love you. And love your posts I feel like I’m talking to you while we wait for Megs to arrive 😂. Thank you for sharing Jessie with me. Love her way. And you are so right. I have the fucking freedom to choose my response!!!!! Love love and more love xxxxxx
    Like · Reply · April 16 at 9:33am

    Deborah Sykes Yates Love your writing Li 😍…… stay strong!!👍😘
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · April 15 at 1:05am
    Lianne Cawood Thanks Deborah ❤️. Your daughter helps 😘
    Like · Reply · 1 · April 16 at 9:34am

    Lynn Loopuyt Barker …. In that case we’ll have to scrap the tiara and get you a crown. Our BraveHeart. Huge respect. Huge love. ❤️
    Unlike · Reply · 3 · April 15 at 1:38am
    Shea Albert O magnifient warrior xxxx
    Like · Reply · 1 · April 15 at 2:08am
    Lianne Cawood 😂😂 dammit I want that tiara. Love you Lynn ❤️
    Like · Reply · April 16 at 9:35am
    Lynn Loopuyt Barker Why don’t they make bigger hearts! …….❤️
    Like · Reply · April 16 at 5:56pm

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