We were discussing the mid life crisis thing yesterday. And the scary obsession with youth.  It is interesting how very few of us escape it. Whether it is that nagging feeling and fear of being anonymous. That slight irritation when only old men glance in your direction these days. Whether it’s the need for the ongoing botox and fillers to try and recapture what was. And the sadness at realising you can’t. Whether its that panic feeling in the middle of the night as you wonder is this it. Or that even more panicked feeling when you see your slightly saggier face looking back at you in the mirror as you wonder, is it too late for me? Is it over? Is it too late to follow my dream? Do I have a dream? Everyone in some way starts to wonder and question and too often regret. Sadly on a physical front earlier and earlier. I am surrounded by exquisite younger women who inject themselves with all sorts of things to try and make themselves look as beautiful as they once did. To me they are even more beautiful today. And all they are doing is losing the expression of themselves. I so understand the fear of ageing, especially it’s toll on our bodies. And on our sense of self worth. And the middle aged are generally ignored by all. So we can become slightly desperate.The middle aged. Shit, how funny is that. I am middle aged. Actually ten years older but the anonymity thing remains. I am filled with questions and wonder and sadness and yes regret but I genuinely find a little more acceptance of myself and a little more appreciation of my wisdom and a stronger sense of self. I love knowing that I have so much more to offer, because of my path, which has led me to here, lined and all. I love being me, saggy bits and all. I want all my friends just to realise how beautiful they are, how lucky they are, how lovely it is to be able to read the expression on their faces, to see them. And how much they have to offer that goes far beyond the physical. How just being them is enough. There is no crisis unless we make it one.

9 thoughts on “crisis

  1. I love that you can say it just as it is. And so well. Not that I love just what you said. But I get it. Well in truth not really yet. Still resisting. Wrestling. Questioning. I know just waisting precious time. But I’m not loving it. Not yet. x

    • I’m not loving it either … but accepting it. It is inevitable no matter what we do, all that sets us apart, truly is our attitude!! I’m loving that I’m feeling more accepting of it. And really knowing that who I am is not how I look, what titles I have, how much I earn etc etc. And you are so right, life is precious and fleeting, why the hell do we waste so much of it? Lets live our dreams and hopefully they aren’t about having more stuff or looking younger but rather having no regrets!!!!!!!!One day us women will realise we are good enough just as we are. xxxx

  2. When I learned to be grateful for my body, the wholeness of it became acceptable to me. I stopped criticizing my body and learned to look at it with love and wonder, saggy bits and all.I marvel at how strong I am physically and marvel at the fact that I can walk, swim, run, albeit at half the pace I used to do it.I marvel that I grew two baby girls and nourished them from my body. My conscious attitude change towards my body brought about great joy to me. I became a better role model for my girls.The regret is that I only developed this attitude at 50, I wasted a lot of energy on negativity. I want my daughters to see that it is such and unnecessary state of mind This “negative ageing thing”that society has lead us to believe is a bunch of b..s..t.
    There is joy in just being who we are if only we would accept ourselves through grace.

    Challenge your body to get fitter and stronger and you will surprise yourself at how good you feel. Over the last 3 years I have tried
    , yoga, weight lifting, Taekwondo, Walking and pilates and I have found that with good nutrition and exercise the ageing thing slows down.

    Yoga is my choice of exercise today and i am loving living and being 53.

    • You are inspiring in your honesty Lynda. And isn’t it just that simple … gratitude. It simply changes your view on everything. I too am so grateful for my body, for my life, and for the choice to focus on the positive. I am so determined to equally be aware of the role model I am for my girls. To be the change. To help them not be so externally focussed. How can they feel good enough if they see their mom is not happy with what she was blessed with. I still moan about the kilo here or there, the wrinkles, the sags, the scars, but they are me. I am determined to moan less and laugh even more. The last four years I have paused and got myself back, I am fitter and healthier, my doctors are amazed at me. My body looks no better (aargh haha) but it feels so much better. And that is what matters. I am so very healthy. And I too am loving my life and being 46. xx

  3. You’re right Lianne, we do have to be the change. We all know that while we may scrutinise how someone looks for the first few minutes that we meet them, it’s who they are that counts as to whether we want to spend time with them in the future not how they look. I agree with everything your friend Lynda says. Look at our bodies, look what we can do, we are amazing… let’s just relax about it all and enjoy life. x

  4. Beautiful words & so true… I am a work in progress.. Working on loving myself & trying to focus on the good bits & accept the bad… It is hard.. Although my brain knows how blessed I am.. The little voice is a constant… But I am getting better & better at it.. So much good to focus on.. Xx

  5. From facebook

    Samantha Yates Schroeder and Angie Barnard-Engelke like this.

    Kerry Solomon As usual Lianne, you put into words so well what many of us feel. Thanks again for sharing. Your blog brought tears to my eyes.
    September 5 at 5:00pm · Like

    Yvette Puchert From one saggy sista to another…I like your droopy bits!
    September 5 at 5:08pm · Like

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