yahoo

I’ve been a bit of a grump the past couple of days. I think it’s because our trip home is now only a week away. And whilst I know that should excite me, and it does, and remains one of my gratefuls, it still unnerves me. As it does every year. Because of what it holds. It means I can’t so effectively play avoidance anymore. I can’t pretend I am not fearful of what my doctors might find. I can’t pretend I’m not hopeful that they might tell me all is clear, and no further treatment required. And to be honest, I think that scares me the most of all, no, not the most, but a lot. Because then I will be on my own. Thinking about the possibility of not having someone there checking me all the time feels a little scary. No medication, no implants, no blood tests, no CT scans, no ultrasounds, no three monthly examinations and chats. I know I should be yahoo at the prospect, and I probably will be, eventually. But right now I feel unnerved. And a bit of a fraud too, because I like to believe it’s all up to me, that I am on the right path now.  But suddenly, I’m feeling a lot less certain.

3 thoughts on “yahoo

  1. BELIEVE IN TRUST ….. FOR ONLY THEN CAN TRUST BELIEVE IN YOU :o) – That is the message I was given in my last regression by the UNIVERSAL ANGEL OF LOVE! You may think I’m a bit of a QUACK (YEP sorry the secret is out … lol) .. or you may believe – but remember that only YOU are the one who holds the key! In saying this – your ANGELS are working all the time, Listening, healing and loving you ….. You are NOT alone! Remember I said that you are MORE LOVED THAN YOU’LL EVER KNOW …. and this is also a part of your healing! You have SO MUCH POSITIVE HEALING and ENERGY around you ….

    In the words of Bob Marley … ‘DON’T WORRY ABOUT A TING …. CAUSE EVERY LIDDLE TINGS GONNA BE ALRIGHT … I SAID DON’T WORRY ……….. this is my message to youuu -oooo-oooooo!!!!!!- (try and get THAT song out of your HEAD …lol) …

    In the words of E E CUMMINGS – ( I HAVE ONLY POSTED THE LAST PARAGRAPH OF THE POEM … – BUT I CARRY YOUR HEART IN MY HEART and I BELIEVE!!

    i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
    my heart)…………………..
    ………………………………..
    …………………. …………………………..
    …………………..
    here is the deepest secret nobody knows
    (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
    and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
    higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
    and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

    i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

    With love and friendship always xxx

    • Nadja, you are a bloody quack and I love you for it!! Thank you so much for sharing this, for caring, and for making me laugh. And yes, Bob has been in my head all day …!!! I do trust. I really really do. With so much love to you too. Namaste.

  2. From facebook

    Angie Barnard-Engelke and 2 others like this.

    Lisa Fourie Huge hugs Lianne … Try to live each day as it comes, don’t put so much pressure on yourself … Lots of love to you all … Wishing on a lucky star for you xoxo
    March 17 at 6:49pm · Like

    Ashleigh Udal Hoffman She’ll be right mate, she’ll be right! xxx
    March 17 at 9:29pm · Like

    Kerry Solomon Shew, I can’t even begin to imagine what you have gone through and still continue to go through. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. Thinking of you as you approach next week, and of course sending many positive thoughts and much love xxx
    March 17 at 10:01pm · Like

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