vanity

I am trying not to be self absorbed. Surrounded by all the beauty here we all do pale by comparison. But I have become obsessed with my face. The bugger with beautiful photography is you can’t escape yourself. The reality of you. And especially with B. Always with a camera, a lingering loving camera. Not so much. I look, and try as I might to focus on the entire shot, my gaze finally settles on me and how I look.  Everyone does it, and lies if they say they don’t. And then invariably never mind how gorgeous the view is if we look crap, the shot is deleted. I see it with my girls too. A gorgeous pic of Queenstown, but the first thing they look at is themselves. Okay, I admit, it is more a girl thing but still. I so wish I could lead by example but oh my word, my face has suddenly collapsed. It feels like it happened the past month. I have become completely obsessed by it. By the lines and furrows down the side of my mouth. Those ones that make you look like a puppet. I’m suddenly a little bit less dismissive of major intervention. Growing old gracefully, accepting the beauty of age and wisdom and experience etched in deep grooves on your face? Sounds wonderful and noble and true and no doubt I will get there because ultimately I do believe it. But right now there is nothing beautiful about seeing my granny’s mouth on my face. Especially when I feel twenty nine. Max. Shit. So, whilst surrounded by heaven, I have become a little obsessed by my face. Damn photography. I was loving the illusion. Less so Kate and Jem tickling my wattle. Very funny girls. Leave mom alone, she’s having a moment.

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2 thoughts on “vanity

  1. LOL… You’re exactly right… I do that too.. delete, delete…. LOL, but I guess it’s cuz even though I’m getting older, I don’t have to like it. I still feel early 30’s… guess I’m just a very experienced 30 something… LOL Cute blog..

  2. From facebook

    Lisa Fourie, Samantha Yates Schroeder and Angie Barnard-Engelke like this.

    Samantha Yates Schroeder God Lianne… That is a bit of a cruel pic.. NEVER look down in a pic….. NEVER!!!!! You are one of the most gorgeous women I know.. but I sooo know how u feel… That’s why I do Botox… Gently.. Ageing’s a bitch!!!! X
    September 30 at 8:39am via mobile · like · 2

    Susie Olopai Lianne I’ve been feeling the same, literally my face is falling off! But looking at your picture makes me realise I just see a person a similar age to myself and it’s reassuring. Your friends don’t want or expect you to look 29, it would look odd.
    September 30 at 10:10am via mobile · like · 2

    Susie Olopai More importantly, your family don’t see lines they just see”mom” and my husband seems to still think I look pretty (despite my cheeks dragging on the ground) and I suspect yours thinks you are too ♥
    September 30 at 10:27am via mobile · like · 2

    Lianne Cawood Haha Samantha, I knowww but I was eating an nice cream!!! Yummmm … now have some serious width to add to those wrinkles!!! How many sessions do you reckon I need!!!???? Susie, i…See More
    September 30 at 6:08pm · Like · 1

    Sandi Unite Sometimes I don’t recognize myself in photos. I agree, it can be quite disturbing as I think I look so much better than I do in pics. Being 60 has its challenges, so enjoy the youth you have and, by the way, that is a terrible pic. Nothing like the real you.
    September 30 at 6:44pm via mobile · like · 1

    Corrie Medhurst Love it!! X
    Monday at 8:15am via mobile · like · 1

    Lianne Cawood So with you Sandi, I bumped into this middle aged woman yesterday only it was me in the mirror! Seriously, I was in a shop and turned a corner into a full length mirror and got the fright of my life! But am loving being 46 just not my sagging face!!! You, on the other hand are a true inspiration, as the girls and I have said often … we want to be you when we’re 60. You epitomise 40 being the new 60. xx
    Tuesday at 4:44am · Like

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