moving forward

This exploring oneself stuff is very uncomfortable, quite unsettling and very liberating. My focus has been on healing myself, and doing whatever it takes to do that. But its been mostly external. Surgery, medication, whatever it took.  An enforced slowing down, being still (ok, well a bit stiller), attempting to reduce my overachievement stress and focusing on all that is beautiful and here and now has helped me heal. But I have very neatly avoided dealing with the why. B knows how wonderfully I deal with things that make me uncomfortable. Not now. I’m too busy, too tired, too whatever. Ignorance can be bliss. Fear is not. I do believe an accelerated growth of cancer cells is triggered by something. I also do believe that with a depleted immune system due to excess stress, lack of exercise, an A type personality, control freakish tendencies, putting others first, a lack of focus on myself created a fabulous environment for the cancer to thrive. And then some. But still there is the why. The pull the rug from underneath me thing that set it off. Because I do believe it is conflict about something. Something that mattered the world to me.The point for me about exploring the why is not to dwell on it but to understand and release it all and move forward. So in the words of another I lovingly forgive and release all of the past. I choose to fill my life with joy. I love and approve of myself.

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One thought on “moving forward

  1. From facebook

    Angie Barnard-Engelke, Kerry Solomon and 4 others like this.

    Samantha Yates Schroeder I second that… xxx
    August 15 at 2:50pm via mobile · Like

    Geraldine Hartley Amen sister forgiveness is the key to closing doors of old and embracing the opening of doors new. You are a special lady and ps do you have an email address? Have a little something I’d like to send on i know there is Facebook but somehow I prefer the vintage of email! X
    August 15 at 3:59pm via mobile · Like

    Kerry Solomon Love this post Lianne, thank you for sharing xxx
    August 15 at 11:13pm · Like

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