ahemmm….

I’m not good at being a statistic.  As in … another woman trying to find herself by sharing her musings on a blog.  But realising that’s not the statistic I hate being, it’s actually one of my own doing, that of another person fearful of starting something in case they don’t do it well.  I’m 45 and realised I’m finally accepting I’m good enough. And am happy to be just like all those others grateful for life by sharing an image a day of something I am grateful for.  It’s a wonderful way of focussing your energies. It is wonderful to realise how limiting it is  to only share one thing. Just today I realised how good I am at talking and not so much at listening. How awful.  I was still for a bit.  The recurring sound in my ears was like a caress from the wind. just listen just listen just listen. I keep telling mysellf tomorrow will be better, wait until you have something to share, who are you and who would want to read you. Today I just listened and stopped telling myself why not.  I had already missed the boat in terms of order, as in starting on the first of the year and ending 365 days later. I love order. Or symmetry. And control. And thats enough to stop me. But today, for a moment I just let go and embraced that now is as good as any a time. Right now I am good enough.  And right now is good enough. So January 16 2012 is my new day.

13 thoughts on “ahemmm….

  1. Hi Sweet Lady, this is a great idea and will be the perfect portal for sharing with special people across the length and breadth of the big wide world. It’s as if you are in the room with me when I read this and see the pic of you…. :-).
    I will definitely get some perspective from lessons learnt by a friend who is akin to my own heart in the way we think and see the world….!!!
    Thank you for sharing!
    Love and miss you…………
    Leigh

    • Hey sweeter lady … I wish I could claim the idea but have been so inspired and intrigued by Hailey and the original 365grateful, which has had a huge spinoff and following. That’s why I resisted being a statistic. They’re making a documentary, see link http://365grateful.com/ . And by the need not to get lost in ‘what’s it all about’. Everyday I tell the girls and myself think about how much you have to be grateful for, but it slips away. So this is my way of formalising it. You should do it too, amazing how already I wake up with a mind focussed to the positive. Trite but true.

      Also cute fun doing something I’m clueless at … did the link allow you to see post ‘one’ and ‘about’??

      Miss you.

  2. I love it and would love to watch your journey through your posts! So …. send us a post

    PS I’m grateful you started this blog … I’ve been wanting to do one ‘what I learned today’ … but haven’t 😉

    xxx
    Nicole K

  3. This is lovely. 🙂 You are lovely. 🙂 I love that you second guessed the starting day, the symmetry, the order, the “right” time…and just did it anyway. This voice is so YOU. It makes me homesick for SA and cold Johannesburg nights, driving down that dark road to Kyalami (thinking “Where AM I?”) and finally ending up at your (gorgeous) house for friends & wine & long talks & maybe a couple of books. Can’t wait to keep reading! XOXO

    • Oh Jen, what wonderful times we had. Makes me homesick too. Thanks for responding, not really sure of my motivation, mostly just honestly, gratitude. And hard to feel sorry for yourself when you realise how much you have to be grateful for!! Let me know if this thing is iffy to navigate??? Love to you all.

  4. Love it Li…………….love your writing. Always have. More to look forward to now than just your wonderful picture commentary. xL

    • Hey you … thanks. And I am grateful to you for saying you like to read me. mmmm … not sure about this blogging to be quite honest, but am amazed how formalising it, makes it so present. I do have so much to be grateful for. We all do. We just forget. Love you.

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